I have spent the better part of my 37 years running away and reinventing myself trying to find some lasting peace. I love and pray for the family that I came from, and mean them no disrespect, so I am leaving out details. I left home at 13, stayed in foster care for a very short period of time before I ran away and began a life that led me down a destructive road.
I knew about God, and I was so angry with Him. I was going to do whatever I pleased and no one was going to tell me differently. That attitude took me from being a victim to hurting others with my complete and utter lack of emotion or concern for their feelings. I traveled the world, staying as busy as I possibly could, never finding a lasting peace and unable to escape the growing anxiety that was a product of guilt.
I was a terrible wife and an even worse mother. Marriage didn’t fix me, rehab didn’t fix me, college and the Army didn’t fix me. I even started over in a new state, was a stay at home Mom, and a member of a church. Pretending I was perfect was even worse. I was so afraid people would find out who I really was. My fear was a self fulfilling prophecy – everything came out. I lost it all! My nice house, kids, spouse, even my driver’s license. I had nothing again! I came from nothing, had nothing and I was mad at the world.
I am so glad that God stepped in to finish writing the rest of my life story. I became born again February 3, 2008. Hey, stop rolling your eyes and thinking things got all religious! Religion and going to church never got me anything or anywhere. I really reached a place where I wanted to know if God was really real, because if he wasn’t I was sick of being somewhat good..what was the point? He didn’t fix me, He made me new. I have a wonderful husband, family and friends. I can feel again and can connect. I don’t freak out about being left alone with my thoughts. I have peace with my ex-husbands, and my children are happy and whole. I don’t live in fear anymore. I don’t live in a pink cloud world with unicorns, but I am not alone. I just want you to know, you are never too far gone for God. there really is hope – his name is Jesus!
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Chris u are so awesome! I identify with a lot of what you say here! I think people really do get uplifted and encouraged by hearing stories of others who have overcome the odds! I love you girl!
People in church sometimes don’t understand people like us. I’m glad we have a church that does. I’m proud of you sis keep your chin up.
Beautiful. Uniquely God.
What a testimony…I love your spirit girl.. It’s a priviledge knowing you Chris…
God only cares about where we finish not where we started. You are an inspiration and hope for others.
Love you girl! Sorry it took so long for me to comment, but it took some time for me to look at the site again after I posted my own testimony. I think you have jumped leaps and bounds. That is inspiration for even those of us who slowly crawl over mole-hills. We are overcomers! No matter how, God goes thru it with us, and we are never the same!
What an awesome God and wonderful testimony of His grace and love. I know God has wonderful plans for you. God Bless you and keep sharing about our wonderful Savior.
Thank-you for your openess and honesty. You’re right, one doesn’t have to share all of where we’ve come from, but cetainly where we’re going. Hearing your story has got to give others hope of things to come from our loving Father God, esp. me.Thanks again, I remain expecting for you and me. Mandy Arce.
Chris, what an awesome testimony. I am so glad to see your face – have missed you!
Jennifer Lowrey
you’re my hero. Seriously. (-: Love ya.
My dear, wonderful Chris, which is how they say His name in China where I lived for so long,as they cannot fathom how to pronounce His name from their phonetic upbringing. Thank you, thank you, it was you who brought me to the church along with Joy from the Starbucks/Friday group.
This is a lifetime present you both gave me, God is wonderful.
Love and hugs.
DR Gee.
Dr Garland´s last blog ..Life as Viewed from the Garden
You are an inspiration
God Bless you