James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

For most of my life, I have struggled with low self-esteem. As a kid, I was constantly picked on, forced into my own shell and separated out cause I was weird. I was never like the other kids. I appreciated jazz music, loved to cook and never really cared who the latest and greatest sports heroes were. Like I said, for a kid – I was weird. And because of it (or maybe it was just the other kids I grew up with), I was picked on – a lot. I would have, on average, at least two people waiting for me after school to pick a fight with me. I remember being terrified as a 6th grader to leave my last class and start the walk home, for fear that one of those bullies would be hiding out, waiting for me. Perseverance had no meaning to me other than to get home to my room – my safe place – at all costs.

Lots of people have been in the same position as kids themselves and managed to overcome and be “popular,” but for me it defined who I was to become. From my teenage years and into adulthood, whenever I came up against something that was too difficult (for me), instead of “pressing through” or persevering in a trial, I would roll into an internal ball and run away, giving up at the slightest push back from my circumstances.

Later into my twenties, I found the book of James, and my Savior Jesus. He taught me that no matter what pain this life tried to cause, no matter what troubled times I lived in, no matter what anyone else thought of me, I was loved and even cherished. I learned that I, through Christ, have the strength to persevere through troubled times, and earn that crown of life. Loving God through the hard times, leaning on Him for understanding, love, hope, joy and peace IS the way to pass the test. You may even find that you’re weird – and it’s ok.

God, thank you for making me “strange” to this world. I want to let my light shine on You. Give me the strength to pass this test, thank you for giving me a safe place to rest. I love you.

This devotion was written by Justin Paschal